I'm not even sure how to summarize this story from the Nashville Scene other than to say read it. All of it. Please.
Excerpt from "Why Lapdances In Nashville Are Illegal But Group Sex Isn't":
“Now let’s talk about the bikini bottom,” Herbison says, his Mickey Mouse tie flapping as he turns from his table to face Sutton. “Did it cover her genitalia?”
“I was able to see the cleft of her butt.”
“Did you see her anus?”
“I did not see her anus.”
“Did you see any part of [the customer’s body] enter her sphincter?
“Are you familiar with the term dry humping?”